Thursday, March 14, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
New Jersey Buzzard! Damn U!
BRIDGEWATER, N.J. (AP) — New Jersey communities from one end of the
state to the other have strung up vulture carcasses this winter to drive
away flocks of the damaging buzzards.
On Monday, federal wildlife officials hoisted a dead black vulture about 30 feet up a tree in the backyard of a home in Bridgewater, a suburb of 45,000 about 40 miles west of New York City.
Wildlife officials say it's a sure-fire way to stop buzzards from roosting in the area.
Residents of one Bridgewater neighborhood have counted at least 100 vultures roosting in a handful of pine trees nearby. They've been leaving behind foul-smelling and acidic droppings on lawns and roofs.
Vulture carcasses have been strung up in at least a half-dozen other New Jersey locations this winter.
On Monday, federal wildlife officials hoisted a dead black vulture about 30 feet up a tree in the backyard of a home in Bridgewater, a suburb of 45,000 about 40 miles west of New York City.
Wildlife officials say it's a sure-fire way to stop buzzards from roosting in the area.
Residents of one Bridgewater neighborhood have counted at least 100 vultures roosting in a handful of pine trees nearby. They've been leaving behind foul-smelling and acidic droppings on lawns and roofs.
Vulture carcasses have been strung up in at least a half-dozen other New Jersey locations this winter.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
the Jewish Conversion
Around the year 900, about 1,113 years ago, the Pope decreed that all the
Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry
from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious
debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won the debate ,
they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, all the Jewish people would have
to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in
the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no
Yiddish, all agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The Rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself clearly beaten, and said
that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy .
Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "Firstly, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.
The Rabbi responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is
still only ONE God who is common to both our faiths.
Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around
us.
The Rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also
RIGHT HERE with us.
I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice,
Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the Rabbi pulled out an apple to remind
me of the ORIGINAL SIN. He beat me at every move, and I could not continue."
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd managed
to win.
"I haven't a clue," said the Rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three
days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.
Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, but I told
him emphatically that we were staying right here."
"And then what?" asked a woman.
"Who knows?" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine."
Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry
from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious
debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won the debate ,
they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, all the Jewish people would have
to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in
the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no
Yiddish, all agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The Rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself clearly beaten, and said
that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy .
Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "Firstly, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.
The Rabbi responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is
still only ONE God who is common to both our faiths.
Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around
us.
The Rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also
RIGHT HERE with us.
I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice,
Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the Rabbi pulled out an apple to remind
me of the ORIGINAL SIN. He beat me at every move, and I could not continue."
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd managed
to win.
"I haven't a clue," said the Rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three
days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.
Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, but I told
him emphatically that we were staying right here."
"And then what?" asked a woman.
"Who knows?" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine."
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Jokes for kids (just kidding)
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
I literally don't understand
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literally | 919 up, 242 down |
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March 6, 2013 Urban Word of the Day
People often confuse this word with figuratively.
-Dude, you figuratively died of embarassment, you illiterate dipshit.
by
Built2Spill
Nov 17, 2004
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| 1. | literally | 656 up, 70 down |
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a much misused adverb, often for emphasis
"I literally died of embarrassment."
"Really? How was reincarnation, you fucking illiterate dipshit?"
by
RockYfella
Dec 5, 2003
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| 3. | literally | 116 up, 21 down |
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A four syllable word used by monkeys to add
emphasis and impress people. Monkeys who use the word don't understand
what it means.
Dude: If that monkey says literally one more time I'll stomp him.
Chick: Literally? Dude: Well, no. | ||
Monday, March 4, 2013
Graffitti isn't just physical anymore
Do U Have KIDZ
When people ask me if I have kids, I look at them blankly. I think back to the sort of child I was. I remember how my parents, Mattie and Frankie, were pure gold. But, and it's a big 'but,' I was in a modern stone age family and felt the crush of overpopulation at a very early age. So, I went into real estate because I figured everybody needs their own house, right?
see my blog at Captnmortgage.blogspot.com.
and NO, I haven't any children.....
Friday, March 1, 2013
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