The Fart Book?

http://www.amazon.com/The-Fart-Book-Donald-Wetzel/dp/0880321318/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1341800692&sr=8-2&keywords=The+Fart+Book

The Fart Book

All farts are divided into two groups:

1. Your farts

2. Somebody else's farts

It lists farts alphabetically, from A to Z.

The S'cuse me fart - This rare fart excuses itself as it is farted. It is about as close to

words as a fart can get. The sound it makes is like a little soft whisper that says. "S'cuse me". The most polite of all farts and very silly when you are alone.

The Chinese Firecracker Fart - This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get          applause. Uncommon