Its SOOOO HOT that....

Seat belts are officially branding irons.... 

 All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through 
the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death.

 It's so hot, I saw squirrels fanning their nuts. 

 The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have 
lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

 Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them 
from laying hard boiled eggs.

 the cows are giving evaporated milk.

 the trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

 Satan decided to take the day off.

 Even the sun was looking for some shade!

 the birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.

 I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'..

 The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs..

 Two trees fighting over a dog....

A fire hydrant begged a dog to pee on it

  Scientists recently detected beads of sweat on the Statue of Liberty.

 Campbell Soup Co. has changed the directions on its cans to,
"Just pour and eat."

 Water in public swimming pools is evaporating so fast that children 
are being encouraged to swim in the deep end and keep ignoring the,
"no peeing" rule.