130 episodes of KKK as marathon torture device..kill me now

Keeping Up with the Kardashians takes viewers inside the hectic lives of Hollywood's modern-day Brady Bunch. Can two famous clans come together as one united front? Or will their individual lust for the limelight end up fracturing the family?

Snubbed by the Oscars yet again...

http://scryptography.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-vampire-trilogy.html

U & U tube

The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The
waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a
coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $9.40
please"

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man Says, "A
hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
"The usual?" Asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on
the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How
do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every
time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found
an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put
my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million
dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a litre of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with
a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

A Good Day

A Hell of a Day
I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker named Ruben steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" He says menacingly,
as I burst into tears. "This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure.”
I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man...
and then my dog bit me.
So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

"I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve..............…
and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But hell, enough about me,
how are you doing?

Three Way!

Last night, I ended up with an older woman at the sports bar.

She looked pretty good for a 60-year old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all and soon
I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit, we had a bit of a snuggle ... and then she asked me if I ever had a "Sportsman's Double?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

"Oh..." I said as my mind began to embrace the idea. "No, I haven't." I said.

We drank a bit more, then she says, with a wink, "well tonight is your lucky night."

We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:

"Mom....you still awake?"

RED ZONE JOKE

A kid comes home from school and
says to his mom, "Mom I've got a
problem." She asks him what it is.
He tells her that the boys at school are
using 2 words he doesn't understand so
she asks him what they are.
He says "Well, pussy and bitch".
She says, "Oh that's no big deal; a
pussy is a cat like our little Mittens,
and a bitch is a female dog like our
Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit his dad
who's watching TV in the living room.
He says to his dad, "Dad, the boys at
school are using words I don't know,
and I asked mom and I don't think she
told me the right meanings."
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go
to your mom with this stuff. What are
the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy
magazine down from the shelf, takes a
marker and circles the crotch of a
naked model and says, "Son, everything
inside this circle is a pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that
circle."