math

Sofia Vergara, Hola!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rL-Wasdwzng&feature=colike

Robots!

 http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/129226-do-humans-dream-of-android-prostitutes

A Father buys a lie-detector Robot that slaps you when you lie.
He decides to test it out on his son at supper table.
Father asks the son, "where were you last night?"
Son replied, "I was at the library"
The robot slaps the son.
"OK I was at a friend's house, watching a movie" the son says!
The father says... "what movie?"
Son replies, "Toy Story, "
Robot slaps the son," OK it was porn " cried the son.
Father yells, "what? When I was your age I did not know what porn was."
Robot slaps the father.
The mother laughs and says , "He certainly is your son."
Robot slaps the mother.

Comedian of the Month Club

http://comedians.jokes.com/paul-varghese/videos/paul-varghese---not-a-good-christian

Paul Varghese...Knock Knock Joke...

My friend's a Jehovah's Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

Who could love u?

It goes: Christmas, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? Those are all days when you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's -- boom! there's Valentine's Day for you. I think there should be just one more holiday after Valentine's Day, just for the stragglers -- and it should be called, Who Could Love You?

More Laura Kightlinger Jokes »

See Laura Kightlinger Tell It »

Urbane diction...

fartriloquism

Art of “throwing” one's farts in such a way that the sound and/or smell seems to come from a source other than the farter.

A person who practices the art is called an ventriloquist.
"Trey,I was in the middle of the room when all of a sudeen I smelled a nasty fart"

"Dude, sorry, was doing my fartriloquism act, I was aiming for Anthony."