Paul Varghese...Knock Knock Joke...

My friend's a Jehovah's Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

Who could love u?

It goes: Christmas, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? Those are all days when you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's -- boom! there's Valentine's Day for you. I think there should be just one more holiday after Valentine's Day, just for the stragglers -- and it should be called, Who Could Love You?

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Urbane diction...

fartriloquism

Art of “throwing” one's farts in such a way that the sound and/or smell seems to come from a source other than the farter.

A person who practices the art is called an ventriloquist.
"Trey,I was in the middle of the room when all of a sudeen I smelled a nasty fart"

"Dude, sorry, was doing my fartriloquism act, I was aiming for Anthony."

Arab student abroad...

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying:

Dear Dad

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB
when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser

 The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son

Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us.Go and get yourself a train too.Love, your Dad

Too naughty...

http://www.boingboing.net/2011/05/18/youve-been-a-bad-bad.html

In the beginning, there was the Internet...

The History of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto
himself a young wife by the name of Dot.  And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of
shoulder and long of leg.  Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town
with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel
load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send
messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the
best price.  And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by
Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.  Abraham sold all the goods he
had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot
devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.  It was known as Must Send
Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and
pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to
camel dung.  They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites,
or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound
of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum
dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
And indeed Brother Gates did insist on drums to be made that would work only with
his drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK)
that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

See u on the bus

To save the economy, on October 30, 2011, Obama will announce
that he is ordering the immigration department to start deporting
old people (instead of illegal's) in order to lower Social Security
and Medicare costs.

Old people are easier to catch, and will not remember how to get
back home!

I started crying when I thought of you.____________________________________________________________

.....see you on the bus.